|Adaptations (adaptations) wrote,|
@ 2008-10-10 08:57:00
|Entry tags:||margaret cho, pb|
Examples for rosiepark Drop Dead Diva (Bio)
**1** An All-American Girl
Hey bitches! Guess who is in da house?
It's me, Rosie Mee Park, the great and glaring diva of the Boston underworld. What, there's no fucking underworld in Boston you say? Well, then my friend, the joke is on you.
It may not be San Francisco, folks, but I assure you, where there's a will, there is a fucking way. The underbellies of the world will unite wherever we may be! The queer, transexual, drag queens, hermaphrodites, sex-crazed, and loony cannot hide from one another for long. And they, in turn, draw the few, the proud, and the brave dyke-y fag hags like myself to them like a moth to a flame. I'm picturing this in my head right now...a beautiful drag queen with wings flying toward the glowing, outstretched arms of the fag hags singing, "You give me fever when you touch me, fever when you hold me tight! Fever! In the morning, and fever all through the night..." Oh yes, we, the misfits of the world, cling to one another like we are fucking long lost sisters and brothers separated at birth.
Don't let this sweet, angelic face fool you. You name it, and I've tried it at least once. Probably twice. If you're really on, maybe even a lucky three times.
But that is only how I spend my nights - running around the party crowds, making out with people like Anna Nicole Smith (when she was alive) in the corner (true story, I swear).
My days are spent sleeping it off, drinking gallons of water, popping ibuprofen, and peddling the streets promoting lesbian and gay rights and organizing unions. It's a dirty job, but somebody's got to fucking do it! My very traditional Korean parents keep asking, "Roseanne Mee, when you get a real job? When you going to make money, so you can take care of us in our old age? Huh?" Um, excuse me, I'm almost fucking thirty-eight years old. If it hasn't happened by now, it's never going to happen, mom and dad. And hello, I'm fucking almost thirty-eight years old! That already makes them old! If I am old enough to blog in a community called midlifecrisis, they are really fucking old!
Okay, somebody get a hook, cut me off, I'm stopping...now.
**2** I don't know much about clothes, but my hair looks fierce!
Yeah, homies. I don't know much about clothes, probably since I spend so much time in the nude, or stripping them off. No, I'm kidding. You hope, anyway.
But I don't see my lack of knowledge on the fashion front that much of a downer. I mean, who really fucking cares? I would consider my tastes to run more towards the punkish or the flamboyant than anything else anyway, and you can find that stuff much easier on the street or from some kiosk than a department store. Why the hell am I even talking about clothes to begin with? How did I get on this pointless fucking tangent?
Oh, right. The person of the opposite sex that I would most like to be happens to be someone of the same sex: AMANDA fucking LEPORE! She's hot. She's fucking hot, and her hair looks fierce! I want to be her! I want to be her SO BAD! And since she's technically a transgendered person, I think she kind of counts. If I had to choose just some typical red-blooded male, I guess I'd choose Robin Williams. The man's a comic genius, but I ultimately stand by Amanda Lepore. Gender's just a fucking construct anyway. I mean, we shouldn't be slaves, tethered and bonded in red patent leather and fluffy handcuffs, to some Victorian age ideal of what men and women should be. Why can't we just be what we want? And I would love to be Amanda fucking Lepore.
**3** List fucking ten noteworthy events of the last 24 hours...
It's been a long day - this being the most important election day in my lifetime. I've spent a majority of it doing political-like things. For one thing, I voted, of course. I hit the polls at like 8 o' clock in the fucking morning. The only thing that could get me up that fucking early is the incredibly hot Barack Obama. So, yes, people...I got my vote on! Then I spent the rest of the day carpooling those who needed it to the voting booths in my lime green Prius. Not only do I like gay rights and Barack Obama, I, unpredictably (ha!), also care about the environment. I also consider it really fucking noteworthy that I didn't pimp out Obama votes while doing the carpooling gig. I followed the damn rules for once and respected the right of everyone to vote their beliefs, unswayed by the beliefs of the chauffeur. Good thing I don't believe in abusing power!
So three down. Seven to go. What the fuck is wrong with me? It shouldn't be this hard to find ten things I've done today. Actually, make that four. Waking up this morning was really, really noteworthy. Making it through the day without any kind of drug-induced or alcohol-related help is also a good sign. Call that five and six.
As for my sixes and sevens, well, as you can see from this entry, I'm not the most organized of union leaders. But, seriously, I have to have done three more good deeds in the past day.
I walked around the park on my lunch break and fed some bread crumbs to the birds because I can be like fucking Mary Poppins and feed those buzzards tuppence a bag. And, um, I dropped some excess change in this homeless dude's empty cup. It made this hollow tinkling sound as it clanged and clacked even. That's nine motherfuckers! Okay, last one, um...well, shit. I'm stumped. Never fucking mind.
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Drop Dead Diva (Bio)